I’ve known myself to be very accepting and loving of all the people I have in my life. Friends, family, acquaintances and all. Though, at times, I don’t know how to express it very well, so I resort to either being carefree and lighthearted or overwhelming and a bit too…dramatic. I’m not that expressive in regards with those things. I dunno. I wanna break the wall but it seems so hard. I try , yes, but it seems so dull.
Nevertheless, I still love the people around me.
But sometimes, one would think if he’s/she’s being loved back the same way as he/she loves them. Or, at least, respected.
I’ll be blunt here. Oftentimes, I’ve felt that I may be too much of a pushover to be taken seriously. Parang minsan naiisip ko na lang na “Ay okay lang yan. Si Moody lang naman yan e. Okay lang na ganyan-ganyanin yan. Di naman manlalaban yan e. Ganyan lang talaga yan.” I always say “Ganyan talaga,.” Maybe this time I should disregard that. Isn’t that being negative, neutral somehow? I don’t know.
Funny e, edi gawin nyo. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a limit. I may be being a little too nice at times, so ayos lang. Pero may hangganan ang joke. Baka di nyo lang pansin na naiinsulto na ko. Tahimik lang ako pero pag ako nagsalita at nag-iba tono ng boses ko, naku, it’s for you to think twice and better yet stop.
May alam din akong ibang bagay. Baka gusto mo palitan yung topic dahil minsan, naiinsulto na din ako na parang yun at yun lang ang tingin mo sakin. Siniseryoso’t nirerespeto kita kahit ganyan ka. Sana kahit konti lang, alamin mo naman kung tama pa ba yung mga sinasabi/kinukwento mo sa kin o hinde. May hangganan ang pag-iitindi ko. Hindi sa lahat ng oras yun ang gusto ko pag-usapan.
If you don’t think of me as an equal, fine. At least give me some respect.