February 10, 2009It is overwhelming this feeling inside of me.To God be the glory.It is to him that I raise my unflinching banner.It is to him that I raise it high.It is for him that I push it up and carry the flag with all my strength upon my weak human frame.It is for him alone, that his glory further shines into the darkness of this world.It is for him that I live, it is for him that I wake up, it is for him alone that I was born.Amen.
The amount of money that was raised today was beyond my human capacity.Laboring on the lay-out of the cards, processing the request for the campaign to be known, taking time to cut out and to be offered for donations, it is indeed a momentous occasion in my life.150 worth of cards for the whole campaign, in one day 90% sold.I was shocked to disbelief when I got home.Only now that it hit me.The life I have to serve is a life also served by God and it is beautiful in the eyes.The pain in my chest that overwhelms me, this pain of joy, tis indeed sweetest within the marrow of life!
Tears, throbs, shivers, weightlessness, pushing myself down when I’m being pushed up by the Spirit.Pushing myself that it is not me who works in me.It is not my spirit who works in me.The slap I have for my own face, a good slap!Carry on let it be.Fly! Fly with the banner that waves up high!Sway with the wind that caresses the fibers of God’s cloth! Lift up into the glory that is God’s!And Cry out Here I am Lord!Here I am!Wave and say I got you in my heart, Dad!Come and laugh indeed Lord!It’s so beautiful!!!Sweeeetttttttttttttttttttt!!!Embrace and hug everything that is Light!Tight, bind, bask, glorify!The Power of One!The Power of Only You my God!Hahahahahahahaha!!!I laugh with the force of the wind, the rumbles of the water, the shocking silence of the mountains, the noise of all alive!!!
And my human self weakens me that I am strengthened by the power of God. Difficult, hard, painful, confusing, let it be man!God is here!Indeed He is here!!!Laugh with Joy oh my self!!!Laugh with all your heart until it exhausts you and you go to sleep… calm, silent, sweet, peaceful, an awakening well served like a baby after a joyful moment awake.And let it repeat again!Tomorrow, the next day, the next week, over and over and over again!OH How sweet it is indeed!How sweet is this?!!!!!!!!!!Don’t contain it, let it be!Let the Joy abound on High!!! Be crazy in God’s embrace, in his smile, in his joy!Hahahahahaha!For you are His child, his son, his footsoldier, his man!!! And he sits silently beside me, caressing my displaced hair, hearing my rhythmic breathing as I lay asleep in his arms forever… Forever…